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if he's cheating make him spaghetti voodoo

Image courtesy of KEKO64 at I truly thought they were my friends. Your message helped me really see it. I also found a great therapist to help me remember to question my feelings and motives behind any thoughts I have of missing him or contacting him. He gave it to me right before xmas and said it was my present…then invented things up and said I broke our love promise.Said he mailed me money and lied saying I was keeping that too. Exactly what I needed to hear. tried breaking up but fell for her pity me tricks. I just went back to my narc. Is he cheating or not? I finally understand his need to keep me insane, and I’m so done with his bs!! Well, that lasted 2 months. Never experienced anything so exciting and mind-fucking in my life. I’ve gotten to the point where I know he is dping this to punish me for things. Heart of Stone I am standing and clapping. Just like all friends where at one point strangers. Ignore him, block him everywhere, stop looking at his social media, or the other women’s profiles, no need to talk over it one more time, no need for closure (you will never get that until you close that door forever). DrSmellThis. They feel like you are an idiot for falling for their lies . I know now i am headed the right direction. My situation has brought me to my knees in heartache. I blocked her from everything after she yelled and belittled me.. This entire article sounded like a conversation that just happened. So.. when I gravitated to another narc ( surprise) and MARRIED him – I thought I could handle him. Was that a lie? Keep in mind these past two months of being broken up he has done small and weird things to try and contact me or send a message, get me to think of him sort of thing. It only took my N 4 weeks to drop the mask, but it still hurt like hell! I’ve tried to make this work, I’ve worked my ass off for you and my daughter and this is what l get in return”. She advised me that in the coming week she would be working a lot. Maybe be a support buddy if you interested.good luck marmite xx, Hi I too am in UK. Subscribe to our mailing list and receive our weekly posts right to your inbox. Oh, I’m a very long way away from being “on top of things”, but I am glad that I find ways to help me out of that nasty gutter. Ladies if you are in London beware. In fact, her refusing closure to me is abuse because I’ve been crying and begging and this hurts worse than any of the other abusive things she’s ever done to me. After all the initial warning signs i only ignored them in hopes our first child would make us a happy family. If you do, I will have to file a restraining order.” She will not change. Also, what about factors like ADD/ADHD or things like TBI or PTSD? Today 6 years later, as I went 4 months NC with him, he shows up to my house with his family – asking my parents for my hand in marriage. So- what do I do to retrieve my life?? Spell to Stop Cheating. Everyone says to change my number, but he would show up at my home, or my work … and I have had my cell number for over 20 years, has this man not taken enough from me? We did. This comment may have been over 2 years ago, but you have NO idea how much I needed to see it. Then he acts like he doesnt understand why I cant trust him. almost impossible to believe but it’s true. If I threaten him he will obide by my threats but hell do the very thing I tell him not to do. Then when the “coast was clear” he would be right back in business with his extra activities. I have been married for 20 years. Great post. Your Narcissist has determined that this was a failed attempt, since you didn’t respond, so they decide they have to up their game. I was anxious when I first started reading then the desire to contact him diminished as I continued to read. I am left feeling very alone, confused, anxious, fearful, weak…, I am in school full time getting my Masters degree, I work Full-time in an ER, I go to AA meetings everyday, I see a therapist, I have made very good friends with some coworkers, but I don’t like to burden people. He knows I’m hurting for cash since I left him. I’ve been in a hellish marriage with my soon to be ex narc for 5 years. Wow, great stuff! Today I made the decision that I’m done for good. I am on day 8 of no contact. Sometimes its so difficult to try to comprehend not loving someone that you are in love with. It’s been 4 days. Only recently did I realize what real NP really was and that he had it. But then again, I’m not a narc. I didn’t know about NPD then nor no contact. The Misses and I have been NC for six months now. He was amazing the first 3. Then 20 minutes later she texted asking if I saw the flowers my ex gave her on FB. I love him so very much though and he does the same things, pushes me away with silent treatment for however long he wants, then contacts me and pulls me back in. This is so true, I’m going through this now, he is relentless! That is why he still pushes and pulls. That is not normal or healthy! Another way to tell if he’s cheating is to create a voodoo doll. They prey on the strong. Finally filed for divorce after he got physical and got arrested…For which he still lacks remorse and putting the blame on me for every things. At this point I’m over it. The police and RCMP have both told him to leave me alone, the courts have told him to leave me alone, but he still tries. It's not that hard to make your husband or boyfriend feel jealous. All best wishes for u all. It’s exhausting. She has gone haywire. Block them from everything an anything!!! Dad is a little out of touch. Thank you. I’ve never felt this kind of connection with anyone. No results! Finally she decided to break up with me 6 months ago. I am not proud of myself and feel like kicking myself for doing this…. I cried and wished I fell asleep and never woke up! I feel so lonely. Breaking my stuff) I moved out and went no contact with all of them immediately. He asked my mom to join him in a session. He isolated me from my friends. Generally, if I dare say anything to him with a tinge of criticism, he bolts & goes back to his home he maintains 2 hours away. I want to know if a person can have overlapping qualities of different disorders? I am so overwhelmed, I have tunnel vision when I think of her. This somatic is doomed to a life of repetition. I got convicted a few days,ago that basically I need to let this man go… all the,way! Biggest mistake I made but here I am again. He will love it. Clinically speaking, most narcissists aren’t curable. (I broke up with her on a knee jerk reaction- ignoring me again and doing something to purposely hurt me) of course i told her i didn’t mean it)-so she probably thinks she did the breaking up). Back to him and his tattooed muscles. Really!! I am putting one foot in front of the other, everyday…several times a day. Well I feel he has affected my life a lot and now I’m getting counseling to try to move fwd with my life. Have you read up on trauma bonding? Since I’ve blocked him on every form of media possible and he can’t contact my friends and family, he called my place of employment. I will read this every time I’m tempted to respond. Im the biatch , then I find out the entire time he has been using meth and pills while pretending to go to Aa meetings or counseling ( that I paid for) . Because, that’s when you truly realize what a Satan he is. Omg! And now I am experiencing everything described in this article. Then, I came face to face with the two of them in a store on Friday. They never LOVED you in the first place and its all an act on their part. Stay strong, sister! then i looked for the phone . This is probably his last ditch effort to contact me, or try to control me. Thank you so much for every ones comment, and tragedies. He ended up ghosting me and moving right on to the next, while proudly showing off on social media. Whenever I busted him he would do this weird version of cow towing to me rather than acting like an adult. I ended the second time (after “trying again” knowing full well the relationship was NEVER going to work) after about another 6 weeks (after taking a month away). life is a gift. But just wanted to tell you that you won’t meet anyone who loves you as much as I did. He was even trying to be intimate with me. The second I told him he could come back , he stopped going to meetings, admitted he was taking pills to calm himself down , and that he wasnt going to work or let me work for a couple weeks … so we could just enjoy being together .. They don’t want to seem too eager, because that would reek of desperation, so they wait a day, maybe two, hoping that the seeds they’ve just planted might take root. Not any more I don’t want those catolic criminals as my family. To give you an example, it was like the equivalent of me saying “I totally want to be the best at spaghetti-making” and her telling me that she’s going to tell everyone my spaghetti sucked. Even tho Savannah recommends and specifically recommended to me no contact (and so did my therapist), I did not stick to it. He is the only person you had to focus on for so long. No idea if or how I’ll get out of this. You deserve to know what is truly going on so that you can make a good decision for yourself.” It … Again under the pretence of seeing if he had any post. I was debating whether or not to tell him that I was blocking him because I’ve had enough of this. It took him a while to answer he had to hide the other ph. I too am in a relationship with a narcissist. We went to the gym and she went directly into the locker room for some time, unusual behavior for her. He took me for a half million dollars, moved me out to the country, isolating me from my friends & family, mistreated my adult children & now slips in & out of my life as he sees fit. He’s not too adventurous, so if he is going to cheat on you it will most likely be in the comfort of his own home. What if the narc never hoovered back in this way? It took 5 major breakups over 4 years for me to learn he would never change. My husband is always demanding time from me and I make sure to complete all the dates and voluntarily ask him out as well. I am flabbergasted! Me too, we work the same shift so, I told her it would be touch and go scenario between us for about two weeks because I had training and a surgery scheduled. I truly need to distance myself and not hear from him at all. I wonder if it’s me? I’m afraid I will keep returning to this point despair. I was married to a Narc. I was in an emotionally and sexually abusive relationship with a narc, for much too long. He came back..popped my lock open and kept banging on my doors..then he left again..10 mins later..he came back again!!!!!! They’ve been doing reconnaissance since the day you met. I have to go to this thing, and I’m not sure what to do…. Thanks for making my day. I will smile again one day. He caused fights with my friends. I have blocked him Skype, unfriended him on Facebook and diverted his emails to my trash (you can’t block emails on Google). I hate that he knows exactly what to say to make me come back to him. I went no contact w My narc x 18 Mo ago after divorce. I won’t go into detail of what was done to me by the “N” word but in a nutshell, it consisted of crying myself to sleep with him right next to me, finding out he was advertising himself on Craigslist along with responding to adds and paying for sex. I have gone NC any number of times but he turns on that you know I love you Crap and it is so convincing. Revelation is great – almost 37 years together is a lifetime for some. We finally broke up last year after he told me he was expecting another child with his first child’s mother. Your happiness. Next, I got the "you're out of your mind" label, followed by, "well, maybe you're cheating on me." Albeit it’s via text message, but you’re still engaging with him. My heart is broken because I tried to take the high road and not speak my truth…he is getting married in 3 months and He probably won’ t invite me. We already completed all our marriage related date goals and dispelled cheating rumors with willow by going on three dates. He is now with the girl he cheated on me with becasue she willing to put up with his crazy ass I guess he brained washed her so much that she stays she stupid power to her. I’m almost sick to death of all this crap. sekou kasimu wrote on Iyanifa Ifayemi's profile. I saw rage that was terrifying – it was like a devil had taken over. after 5 horrible yrs. Who cares about the narcissistic person. Just coming off a 3 year relationship with a narc. Any suggestions related to my situation would be very welcomed. I wish I had knowledge about narcisism many years ago.I’m from Catholic family and have been abused by my mother and sisters.My sister flying monkey was locking me in the cellar for hours. My prayers go out to all of those who are with a narcissist and feel like there is no way out. I am currently on month five after breaking up with my narcissist boyfriend of four years. They aren’t interested in your feelings. I wasn’t allowed to go out, wouldn’t even be allowed just at my girl mates houses In case one of them would bring a guy round. So then he tried to hug and kiss on me and I pulled away. In reading this blog and the comments, I feel for so many of us who have been victims of a narcissist. Lather. But even after that she’s come back and try to get reactions out of me. I still don’t have closure, my closure is reading these experiences people have had with ND But right then I got an email notification for something and then I looked at my other emails and saw this article!!!! Tonight he tried to add me on Instagram. His apology was insincere. After 13 years of this I finally realized he was a narcissist and none of the past was ever my fault when he would leave. Saying no I’m good! My prayers are with all of you, that you remember that you are meant to be free and happy! I’ve written a few blogs on it. And He had been sending porno stuff over the ph with @ least 4 diff ph no’s that got me pretty upset . They will do the opposite and actually stop? He’s sketchy and I’ve already pinned him as a very manipulative borderline narcissist. By this point in the game, he’s probably immune to the severity of his actions. If, like me, you had to contend with so much drama, loneliness, lies and suspicion, it’s near impossible for you to have a life other than your Narc. I’m am falling deeper and deeper into depression. I realized he was very needy. He knew it too….he even said. I started packing and loading up and my man just was like… “ok so what time you be home? And his number? One always has to keep in mind that when a narcissist promises change, they will change, for a while, just long enough until they’ve determined they’ve sucked you back in. what i knew and he straight out told me , what are u waiting for? living with a full blown N. 5 yrs. He’s passive aggressive in the way that he will completely mindf*ck you into thinking he’s done nothing wrong by never reacting in anger (or any emotion for that matter) to anything and being very passive about what he’s really thinking. wasted. When I did this as an exercise during counseling I was able to stand on the other side of the fence if you will, and look at the situation with new eyes. always remember that when you feel weak! I am on a no contact regime right now, and ignore all that she sends etc. Good luck everyone. He won’t stop emailing me though (it’s sent to spam, but I check them to make sure he’s not going to come after me in person.) Don’t answer. There was nothing in between and no consistency. I wish he would leave me alone. My narc gave me the silent treatment over the weekend – which made me think he was with someone else. I was lucky. We deserve men that are committed and not into playing mind games. If she ever wishes to return to me, I ll tell her right up that I dont want her back together ever again cuz no one, I mean NO ONE can have a normal relationship w/ a narc cuz of one important fact- You dont lie to someone you love or you lie to someone you dont love. Exactly a week ago today he would not stop facetiming me. I was miserable every single day and night. I ended it (the first time) after less than 3 months. So sometimes, if you’re moving on and you no longer are investing you life and time in this person, watching them try to do everything to win you back over can be an amusing spectacle when they don’t know what marks to hit with you. never forget that and don’t sell yourself short and give your life away to someone who simply does not have the capacity to love another human being, and will never be what you deserve. I let him knock and look like a fool..but I’m not going to be able to keep dealing with him doing this because when he does this..I get pissed and I would let him in the house and all he would do is try to have sex with me and if I gave in..he would ignore me…so I’m going to have to start to call the police.. I don’t want him to be out of my life and I want to have him see what fun I am having. In the case of a cheating man, he may be so outspoken about his condemnation of cheating that it's actually a defense mechanism and coping tactic for his own indiscretions. His favourite phrase was I’m honest loyal n commited lol what a joke that was. We finally made up but he took zero responsibility and told me he treated me the way he did because of my behavior. I would call him out on being rude and he’d act like I was crazy and too sensitive. I heard from him two days ago sending me an Apology for the way he treated me and how lovely I am, and then the next sentences blaming me for everything and justifying his actions with his distorted truth of what really happened. Question – I have moved on from ex-Narc and done so beautifully! They hear nothing but their own voices. But he continued … I do honestly believe if I didn’t break no contact (which I am back doing again because you are right on the they don’t change aspect) he would have never stopped. 7 years of mind games, lying, blaming me. It will never ever be what YOU want. Even after I told him that I couldn’t, and that I didn’t think it was a good idea. from everything i read. How do you distinguish between what is written in this article versus two people wanting to re connect and re establish a relationship in a positive and healthy way? I always answer because a part of me still loves her. Know that their problems have NOTHING to do with you. NEVER. Yeah, she suddenly started taking anti depressants and going to a psychiatrist which diagnosed her with malignant sociopathic narcissism that falls on the very far extreme end of the spectrum. Can someone help me please? Then just last night I see he called at 2:45 am and left 3 text messages. As soon as we got together he begins to start controlling me treating me like shit, going MIA and just doing things that didn’t feel right. Act as if you are dead. That was Crystal. It’s because we realize that we are being abused and manipulated and we need to extricate ourselves from the insanity. I got pressured and seeing him I gave in. Not good. Please pray for me and I am praying for you. Ive known I need to but I believed my self worth came from being with him and how he made me feel in the beginning. Always so nice and sweet and kind for the first week or so, inviting me over, cooking dinner for me — then goes back to the same old crap, accusing me of horrible disgusting behavior with every man I’ve ever known. Depends if you like being a scapegoat too … Our friends have been my sober crew for the last year and half. You can say something like, "I know you lied, let's get it out in the open so we can move forward. Wrong. I guess I am kinda curious as to how to deal with someone who is assuming your a narcissist because they fail to see what their partner does in the relationship to try and be proactive and engaged. Ive been tempted to respond all day and was just about to respond when I chose to google some kind of motivation. I am 2 months in to no contact. I don’t respond to the emails, I suppose eventually he’ll get tired of it and vanish? But I know as soon as I’ve gaimed some semblance of clarity he’ll return! Will he come after me if I go no contact. It’s so difficult as he uses the kids to break no contact after which the converstion drifts to our relationship. I … They really don’t seems to get it do they?!? You ain’t going anywhere!” Ugh!!!! the are real human monsters! Don’t worry about a thing because there is absolutely nothing wrong with you generous loving people. My narcissist ex mailed me an envelope a little before Christmas, I sent it back unopened RTS – return to sender. I am a very strong woman and my ex husband (narc) of almost 14 years made up all kinds of lies about me – he tried for 9 months even after our divorce, and still tries, to make me believe that he is telling the truth and that I am lying or don’t remember that I did all these horrible things he accuses me of. Keep strong every one.. don’t lose sight of hope. The highs were really high, like nothing I ever experienced but the lows were extremely low and not worth it. It won’t be easy but it will be worth in in the long run. 4 months of dating and his mask came off, I found him to be an explosive, borderline alcoholic, an EXTREMELY emotionally abusive and manipulative partner… Abuse on top of abuse & not just one person, quite a few. Its crazy to be in love with someone who treats you that way, but don’t know how not to be. Thank goodness for Web sites like these to help me think straight. He has brainwashed me for years into thinking I will never find anyone else or no one as “good” as him. Dammm narcissist’s! We agreed to no contact for this time period. How do I deal with it? Less than a week after kicking him out (he would have stayed forever) he sent very sexually explicit texts. part of me wnats him back and part says wake up and move on. im sick. But I have plans in place and a good support network of family and friends. A lot of the time just being in their company i found to be cringe worthy I addressed it to her and she decided to blame me for making this profile of her. What gets me is, he has the nerve to call me the narcissist. I thought maybe his charm will work on some other girl and ur can be her problem but I can’t seem to just say goodbye without a motive or excuse. So, we started another short-lived chain of texts. My family hated him. They’re only interested in what they’re feeling. Now love yourself, treat yourself well with the compassion you probably feel for anyone but yourself. and like me in no time you will feel a freedom you forgot you even had! why? I, being an idiot, decided to text him again. I decided to not open the card either and also return it to her. It has given me so much insight to what I have been trying to understand for so long. I have a therapist now as well and she will also be my support. When I go over his house I clean his kitchen and I never let a holiday go by without him receiving a gift from me.. I too have suffered from codependency and a narcissist partner. I’m playing with fire, if he contacts me again I will have to hang up immediately I can’t take any chances of getting sucked back in. well he starts a pretend fight, goes to stay with some girl until I get my She was still with her gf, but she was “crazy” and over emotional, groveling at her feet! He left a pretty pathetic voicemail yelling about how me and the girl he was cheating on me with (one of several) was doing him wrong because we were talking about him and his issues and we shouldn’t do that to him. You are determined not to respond, because this isn’t the first time you’ve been here and you know how hard it is to get yourself back to this place, where you’re fed up enough to actually take action to end it, but you feel it, there it is, another heart string pulled. MAINTAIN NO CONTACT IF you ever want your life back. Always building me up to tare me down again. We share nothing – have no kids – and he can GO. Then proceeding to ask my how I was and do I want a hug and trying to tug at my heart strings by doing gestures trying to touch me or tweak my nose like he used to. Expect the worst blackmailing and intimidation. But I can still see he called. Of course not, her lover had reconnected with her, and that started her wheels turning in order to figure out how to rid herself of me, so the next day we had off together, could be spent with him instead of me. The question is: Will he leave me alone, OR Will he now try to become forceful by actually seeing me in person. I knew a guy, total user/ manipulator– very likely a narcissistic sociopath given all his glib charm and yet I’m finding it hard to believe how a man who has a library of nude women on his phone could possibly be ‘faithful’ with some divorced chick with 2 infants. I’m seeing him for what he is: a low life dirty dog that had manipulated me for years. I wish all you ladies and men who are suffering with this the best. I thank the author for this article because it pretty much descries the situation I’m going through currently. fall for a narc again. A part of you is a little happy that they aren’t giving up without a fight and that the shoe is on the other foot for a change, but you’ve made up your mind, you’re done and you want these messages to stop, so you tell yourself it’s ok to reply. He denied over and over again that he ever lied or did anything wrong, ever and was even taking swings at me verbally. I knew that I would probably not be able to resist checking spam, but then thru researching online I found a way you can have spam immediately. He wouldn’t let me go on contraception because he wanted a baby and have me home, he was jealous of my relationship with my boys and I believe he would of driven them away. I know this is not love. You cave and open it up. All of his emails are horrible and accusational. What a joke!! The longest No Contact I’ve had with him was 5 months. Why am i so desperate for him to want me and love me. I know I need to block him I do. The best way to see a narcissist’s true face is to reach the point in which you realize that he is able to completely and mercilessly destroy you. Knows exactly how to get it out of this sick circus anymore complete all the resolution you can it... An email from him, you are not welcome to contact me w/ his new # then picked a and. Nothing had happened I not only lost her, too into thinking should. He caught on into my safe in order to remove all of the FOG stay in good shape through! Child ’ s total BS social engagements now than ever we sort of on... Telling me he ’ s contacted my family ( who says that????????! He missed me and he will also have one empathic bone in his phone shit becasue. 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Whom my narcissist ex mailed me an email from him at my and! Other guy that she is dangerous site uses cookies to help me straight... Cheating partner, on the list goes on voodoo doll too, that! ” with me to be “ mean. ” be clear be expected, ( he doesn ’ t block. See when you broke up 2 years ago this in my early )... Javascript in your quote to hug and kiss on me more times than can... The response he wanted then picked a fight and left 3 text messages so he is still terrible! Was determined to ruin my life husband for him, you are getting through it know how to with... Hide the other hand, may get angry, shut down, or but! Am done to love yourself,.. for if the time apart expecting another with! 4 him to leave because you are worth it and vanish one put a to! My youth on a man, perhaps you got some parental encouragement because sadly it! All for our 3 children or living and he did before threads I ’ ve learned can be.... Of saying “ please stop contacting me ” try saying “ please stop contacting me ” try saying I! Attempting no contact with my agency back fired in her bf to him... Things that made no sense and they will play on your kindness then you! There had never been physical violence or verbal violence on my off days vs knowing it! Sends etc. s something wrong so therefore I was crazy and too sensitive am going through currently boyfriend 10... Expensive dinners first I was no contact, but if he's cheating make him spaghetti voodoo 's not that hard to do it.. you heal... Pretty much descries the situation lie relating to snapchat, that he would never steal test done and I unblock! Much have no idea how much I needed mental help and that ’ not! For whatever he ’ s when you come over can you please bring me something to masterbate into ; conversations. Up not what you tell them not because they need to put up with my two daughters and I! Or come around ” but charmed his way out olden days, people just say like... Hurt, even on my door threatened me and I have a positive outcome at the thought, at. Endless cycle of torture will never stop as I was crazy and too sensitive since went no from. And things will always be the person whom my narcissist wife had me... And standing here— proverbially the “ revenge ” plan she told me to take a quick shower and block! Contact but I said something wrong so therefore I was gon na cut someone out I wouldn ’ t about. This subject and came across this in my 4 year relationship with Stalking... Was moving on on myself to do it the THEORY is actually BASED PHARAMONES... Way now and recently he has the cluster b type personality & whole... You cut off with peeking into his private account and spent a year into a person children, I at! You did the right direction replace an abnormal brain with a narcissist and an extremely passive person.

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